Wednesday, February 23, 2005


13 fecking days until the half marathon, and my ankle starts hurting. After 10 months of training.

£43 lighter and I have been told by a physiotherapist that I have got "sinus tarsi syndrome".

Now I have got over the abject misery at probably not being able to run on the 6th March, I feel ok. And it's quite exciting having a physiotherpist.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and do 20 ankle rolls using a giant rubber band.


Thursday, February 03, 2005

The flat is in disarray. I should be tidying it, but instead I am making my 2nd post of the past 15 minutes.

I am chuffed about sorting out the wedding. I am not chuffed about having a cold. It's only mild, and only my 2nd this winter. But I eat so many frickin' vegetables, I feel cheated.

Because of my cold, I got home from work and had a 2 hour nap, rather than a 40 minute tempo-run. Because of my tenedency to catastrophise, I am now convinced this means I will be totally unable to run the Reading half-marathon.

I am now concerned I won't be able to sleep tonight because of my 2 hour nap.

I have been getting up at 6am every day this week, and in work by 8. It's brilliant, and feels great to be able to leave at 4pm. In the past I have always been a 10-6 type of girl. However, it also means I am particularly looking forward to a lie-in at the weekend. Then I remembered I am going to get up at 7.30 this weekend to go and do a 10 mile run. Fucking fuck fuck I don't want to. But I really really want the sense of achievement when I cross the finishing line in Reading. Bollocks.

And one of my school friends is going to live in Canada in April. I'm going to miss her so much. Although we both live in London, we only meet up every couple of months. So it's not as if her leaving will make a gaping hole in my life. But it's going to take some getting used to. One of my close friends from university emigrated permanently last year. She was from Indonesia, came here to study, got a job here, then was racially harrassed out of her job. As her visa depended on her job, she had to go back to Indonesia. That stank. I really miss her too. I know change is good, and because of people moving around, I have gained as many friends as I have lost in the past couple of years, but at the moment I just feel like throwing my toys out of the pram because I don't want to say good bye to any of them.

And then to cap it off my ex boyfriend is travelling the world and has started a blog about it, and I am jealous. I want to have the guts to save money and spend it on a world trip, rather than "our future" aka a deposit on a flat. I realised recently that it will take probably another 12 months to save enough to move. Then it will take a couple of years to get the place how we like it. And then I honestly believe I will want to have a baby. Fuck. I can't believe I just wrote that. So then I will (hopefully be able to) have a baby. And then I will never ever do anything as exciting as travelling the world. Because my whole life will be about my child.

I am miserable tonight. I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling different.


Bit of a wedding update

Ok, so I have done the following:

Got a dress (very nice, and haggled down to £40. Bargain!)
Booked the registry office
Booked the bar for our friendly piss up, 2 days after the actual wedding.
Booked the minibus to transport our family from the registry office to the (100% veggie) restaurant where we are buying them lunch
Booked the river-rover cruise wotsit for us and our family (after lunch, we are going on a boat to Greenwich and back. The families wanted to get to know each other, so this is their chance. R and I sorely tempted to wave them off them bog off to a hotel)
Booked all different aspects of our honeymoon. (Not easy - train to Hull, ferry to Rotterdam, train to Amsterdam, hostel in Amsterdam for 4 nights, train to Paris, hotel in paris for 2 nights, Iron Maiden tickets on last night, flights to Heathrow).
Asked my mum's moody BF to make a cake.
Asked my mum's moody BF to take the photos. (He gets less moody when he has plenty to do)

I think that's about it. All we really have left to do is book the restaurant for lunch, which I'm sure will be fine.

Who said weddings had to be stressful?!